Generation Y

Generation Y

The Barnyard for the next 4 years....

The Barnyard for the next 4 years....

"Who will help me grow my wheat?" asked the little red hen.

"Not I," said the cow.

"Not I," said the duck.

"Not I," said the pig.

"Not I," said the goose.

"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she did. She planted her crop, and the wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain.

"Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.

"Not I," said the duck..

"Out of my classification," said the pig.

"I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.

"I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.

"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she did.

At last it came time to bake the bread. "Who will help me bake the bread?" asked the little red hen.

"That would be overtime for me," said the cow.

"I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.

"I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the pig.

"If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.

"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen.

She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see. They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share. But the little red hen said, "No, I shall eat all five loaves."

"Excess profits!" cried the cow. (Nancy Pelosi)

"Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck. (Barbara Boxer)

"I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose. (Jesse Jackson)

The pig just grunted in disdain. (Ted Kennedy)

And they all painted 'Unfair!' picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.

Then the farmer (Obama) came. He said to the little red hen, "You must not be so greedy."

"But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.

"Exactly," said Barack the farmer. "That is what makes our free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy and idle."

And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, "I am grateful, for now I truly understand."

But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never again baked bread because she joined the 'party' and got her bread free. And all the Democrats smiled. 'Fairness' had been established.

Individual initiative had died, but nobody noticed; perhaps no one cared...so long as there was free bread that 'the rich' were paying for.

EPILOGUE

Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs.

Hillary got $8 million for hers.

That's $20 million for the memories from two people, who for eight years repeatedly testified, under oath, that they couldn't remember anything.

IS THIS A GREAT BARNYARD OR WHAT?

Only in America

ONLY in America

• Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

• Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, And a diet coke.

• Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the Pens to the counters.

• Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

• Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

• Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER...

• Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

• Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? (Really?)

• Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

• Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

• Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

• Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

• Why is the man who invests a ll your money called a broker?

• Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

• Why isn't there mouse-flavored c at food?

• Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

• Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

• You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

• Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

• Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

• If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

• If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

The Burglar

One night, a burglar broke into a house. He shined
his flashlight around, looking for valuables. When he
picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a
strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying,
"Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his
flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more
after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a
vacation after the next big score, then clicked the
flashlight on and began searching for more valuables.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could
disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard,
"Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined
his light around frantically, looking for the source
of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight
beam came to rest on a parrot.

Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.

"Yep," the parrot confessed, and then
squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the
world are you?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What
kind of people would name a bird Moses?"

"The kind of people that would name a
Rottweiler Jesus."

Cemetery Escort Duty

I just wanted to get the day over with and go down to Smokey's. Sneaking a look at my watch, I saw the time, 1655. Five minutes to go before the cemetery gates are closed for the day. Full dress was hot in the August sun. Oklahoma summertime was as bad as ever--the heat and humidity at the same level--both too high.

I saw the car pull into the drive, '69 or '70 model Cadillac Deville, looked factory-new. It pulled into the parking lot at a snail's pace. An old woman got out so slow I thought she was paralyzed; she had a cane and a sheaf of flowers--about four or five bunches as best I could tell.

I couldn't help myself. The thought came unwanted, and left a slightly bitter taste: 'She's going to spend an hour, and for this old soldier, my hip hurts and I'm ready to get out of here right now!' But for this day, my duty was to assist anyone coming in.

Kevin would lock the 'In' gate and if I could hurry the old biddy along, we might make it to Smokey's in time.

I broke post attention. My hip made gritty noises when I took the first step and the pain went up a notch. I must have made a real military sight: middle-aged man with a small pot gut and half a limp, in marine full-dress uniform, which had lost its razor crease about thirty minutes after I began the watch at the cemetery.

I stopped in front of her, halfway up the walk. She looked up at me with an old woman's squint.

'Ma'am,may I assist you in any way?'

She took long enough to answer.

'Yes, son. Can you carry these flowers? I seem to be moving a tad slow these days.'

'My pleasure, ma'am.' Well, it wasn't too much of a lie.

She looked again. 'Marine, where were you stationed?'

' Vietnam, ma'am. Ground-pounder. '69 to '71.'

She looked at me closer. 'Wounded in action, I see. Well done, Marine. I'll be as quick as I can.'

I lied a little bigger: 'No hurry, ma'am.'

She smiled and winked at me. 'Son, I'm 85-years-old and I can tell a lie from a long way off. Let's get this done. Might be the last time I can do this. My name's Joanne Wieserman, and I've a few Marines I'd like to see one more time.'

'Yes, ma 'am. At your service.'

She headed for the World War I section, stopping at a stone. She picked one of the flowers out of my arm and laid it on top of the stone. She murmured something I couldn't quite make out. The name on the marble was Donald S. Davidson, USMC: France 1918.

She turned away and made a straight line for the World War II section, stopping at one stone. I saw a tear slowly tracking its way down her cheek. She put a bunch on a stone; the name was Stephen X.Davidson, USMC, 1943.

She went up the row a ways and laid another bunch on a stone, Stanley J. Wieserman, USMC, 1944.

She paused for a second. 'Two more, son, and we'll be done'

I almost didn't say anything, but, 'Yes, ma'am. Take your time.'

She looked confused. 'Where's the Vietnam section, son? I seem to have lost my way.'

I pointed with my chin. 'That way, ma'am.'

'Oh!' she chuckled quietly. 'Son, me and old age ain't too friendly.'

She headed down the walk I'd pointed at. She stopped at a couple of stones before she found the ones she wanted. She placed a bunch on Larry Wieserman, USMC, 1968, and the last on Darrel Wieserman, USMC, 1970. She stood there and murmured a few words I still couldn't make out.

'OK, son, I'm finished. Get me back to my car and you can go home.'

Yes, ma'am. If I may ask, were those your kinfolk?'

She paused. 'Yes, Donald Davidson was my father, Stephen was my uncle, Stanley was my husband, Larry and Darrel were our sons. All killed in action, all marines.'

She stopped. Whether she had finished, or couldn't finish, I don't know. She made her way to her car, slowly and painfully.

I waited for a polite distance to come between us and then double-timed it over to Kevin, waiting by the car.

'Get to the 'Out' gate quick. I have something I've got to do.'

Kevin started to say something, but saw the look I gave him. He broke the rules to get us there down the service road. We beat her. She hadn't made it around the rotunda yet.

'Kevin, stand at attention next to the gatepost. Follow my lead.' I humped it across the drive to the other post.

When the Cadillac came puttering around from the hedges and began the short straight traverse to the gate, I called in my best gunny's voice: 'TehenHut! Present Haaaarms!'

I have to hand it to Kevin; he never blinked an eye--full dress attention and a salute that would make his DI proud.
She drove through that gate with two old worn-out soldiers giving her a send-off she deserved, for service rendered to her country, and for knowing duty, honor and sacrifice.

I am not sure, but I think I saw a salute returned from that Cadillac.

Instead of 'The End,' just think of 'Taps.'

As a final thought on my part, let me share a favorite prayer: 'Lord, keep our servicemen and women safe, whether they serve at home or overseas. Hold them in your loving hands and protect them as they protect us.'

Let's all keep those currently serving and those who have gone before in our thoughts. They are the reason for the many freedoms we enjoy.

'In God We Trust.'

Sorry about your monitor; it made mine blurry too!

If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under!

Until Later,

XX

Super Bowl Prediction

Ok I know that I have rotten predictions. I am usually about 50% on my picks. But, my pick for the Super Bowl is the Pittsburgh Steelers 30 @ the Arizona Cardinals 27. I look for it to be a close game. I know a lot of people are rooting for Kurt Warner, but I am rooting for the Steelers. Even though my beloved Dallas Cowboys have 5 Super Bowl Championships as do the Steelers & with a win the Steelers will go to a record 6th Championship.

Doesn't matter to me. I am still rooting for the Steelers. If the Cardinals do wind up winning the game you won't see me crying. It would be a great story if they do win. Who would have ever thought this team would be in the Super Bowl? Not many that is for sure.

My 3 boys & I luckily own Pittsburgh Steeler jersey's and we will be wearing them tomorrow for our Super Bowl "party". Last year was a good game, but it had two teams I despise. This year it isn't a "good versus evil" game like there has been in years past.

Let's just hope for a very entertaining game!

Until Later,

XX

School 1957 versus 2007

SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007
Scenario:
Jack goes quail hunting before school,
pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun,
goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail
and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in
for traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario:
Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins.
Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark.
Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario:
Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal.
Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie.
Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state
because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car
and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal,
goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse.
Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang.
State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers
being abused herself and their dad goes to prison.
Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations.
Car searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario:
Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state.
Newspaper articles appear nationally
explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist.
ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system
and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum.
Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up
mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Scenario:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July,
puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007- BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called.
Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents,
siblings removed from home, computers confiscated,
Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list
and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee.
He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job.
She faces 3 years in State Prison.
Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

This should hit every e-mail to show how stupid we have become!
Think about it!

Until Later,

XX

More Football

It has now been just over a week & I can now at least write about my HUGE disappointment in the National Championship game between Oklahoma & Florida. I can admit that OU lost fair & square. I still believe that OU had a really good chance to win & if they just score two offensive touchdowns right before halftime the game would have been a lot different. The problem is that Florida didn't allow that to happen.

I don't understand how the Oklahoma coaching staff can take the ball out of the heisman trophey winners hands & expect them to win the game with Chris Brown running. Don't get me wrong, Chris had a really good game & made some tough yards, but Sam Bradford got this team to the National Championship game & I think they should have let him try to win the game. Oh well, Sam is coming back next year so let's hop they can win the it all then.

Again I am not doing to well on predictions for the NFL playoffs. I think the Philadelphia Eagles will beat the Arizona Cardinals & I also believe the Pittsburgh Steelers will squeek one out against the Baltimore Ravens. I bet the NFL is hoping the Steelers go because if they don't I doubt this will be a much watch Super Bowl. All Pennsylvania bowl? We shall see. I cannot stand the Eagles, but we will see. One reason I want the Eagles to make it & lose is because not much good has come to the Super Bowl runner ups for the next season.

Oh well, I haven't got much to talk about other than the Economy needs to get a big "BOOST" so my sales can get back on the positive side @ work again. It has been very tough. As we get ready for a change in the leadership of our country, I hope that everyone realizes that God has always & WILL ALWAYS be in control of the world.

More to come when I feel like typing more. I just wonder what all some of you think I should write about. Any suggestions?

Until Later,

XX

NFL Playoffs

Can the NFL Playoffs be anymore annoying? 4 wild card games this weekend & not ONE of the teams I was rooting for won.

Baltimore Ravens over the Miami Dolphins
Arizona Cardinals over the Atlanta Falcons
San Diego Chargers over the Indianapolis Colts
Philadelphia Eagles over the Minnesota Vikings

Ok other the Cardinal vs Falcons didn't bother me too much, but the Colts & Vikings losing really upsets me. How in the world the Minnesota Vikings think they have a shot with Tavaris Jackson at Quarterback is beyond me. I sit in my chair at home & even I can tell you that this guy is not an NFL Quarterback. He is better than me, but hey I don't play.

Not having the Vikings or the Colts in the playoffs really makes it more B-O-R-I-N-G!! Who is there to root for now? My beloved Dallas Cowboys didn't even make the playoffs & now my 2nd favorite team the Adrian Peterson Vikings are out. I will be rooting all the way for the Pittsburgh Steelers to capture Super Bowl Title #6 all the way.

This next weekend games shape up like this:

Baltimore Ravens @ Tennesee Titans - BORING - Honestly I don't care - I think the Ravens take this game. Defense wins Championships. Kerry Collins "dream" comes to a close.

Arizona Cardinals @ Carolina Panthers - The winner of this game is who I will be rooting for in the NFC. Carolina is just too tough for the Cardinals in this one.

Philadelphia Eagles @ New York Giants - This game makes me want to puke. The Eagles are one of the two teams I root against EVERYTIME they play. ( Patriots are the other ). The Giants are in the same division as the Cowboys so it is hard for me to root for them to win. Although last year I rooted for them to beat the Patriots & they did. I will take the Giants with the Home Field advantage in this one.

San Diego Chargers @ Pittsburgh Steelers - Honestly how does an 8-8 team make the playoffs? I don't care if they just beat my boy Peyton Manning, I still say they shouldn't be there. I am for the Steelers so much that I will be bleeding black & gold this weekend! I seriously think the Steelers will win.

If the Steelers somehow do lose....I don't know who I will be rooting for. This is the first time in a LONG time that there is really no clear cut favorite for the Super Bowl. I think anyone of these teams could beat the other at this point.

Time for the NFL to adopt a new overtime system. Needs to be more like college where each team lines up @ the 25. Except in the NFL I would make it the 40 yard line.

Let's hope this next weekends round of games works out better than last weeks.

Until Later,

XX